SNP would say be curious and solution-oriented when setting a boundary. If you enfore it too strictly, you might ruin the relationship or discourage them from coming to you with future opportunities. If you don’t enfore your boundary, then that person will know they can keep asking you for things when you say you’re at capacity. Say the person who made that original ask tries to get you on the project anyway by inviting you to a sync after you’ve said you didn’t have the bandwidth.

Action: Uphold what you communicate through your behavior when your boundary is crossed, otherwise, that boundary will continue to be crossed.

Communication: No one is a mind reader, people don’t know your boundaries unless you communicate them. And to communicate them you have to know what your boundaries are.To do that you need communication and action (page 13): Boundary setting is a tool to establish that balance. What is important is finding the balance so that you don’t end up emotionally dumping on your colleagues or getting to the point of burnout. And, sometimes, as a high-performing team member, you might accidentally bite off more than you can chew or work during downtime. Sharing personal stories or issues in appropriate situations can help build relationships with colleagues. Saying yes to tasks you can’t responsibly complete.What can I do to make this situation healthier?.In what ways do I contribute to this situation.Tawwab implores us to ask ourselves three questions before pulling the escape hatch: You might get to your next job and repeat the same patterns. Tawwab calls out that, that might not be enough to change the situation.

If one of those bullets applies to you, you may be thinking about changing jobs. You frequently daydream about dropping everything and disappearing.You make commments about helping people and getting nothing in return.You avoid phone calls and interactions with people who might ask for something.You feel resentful toward people for asking for you help.So when might you need boundaries? Tawwab lists out a few signs: You have to be the one to own them and enforce them. Tawwab says in her introduction, “If you don’t like something, do something about it.” Boundaries are about taking responsibility. But, setting boundaries is more about managing your mindset than the people around you.

At work, setting boundaries tends to get the misconception that it’s about saying no and that those who set boundaries don’t care about the work or their team. The word “boundaries” gets people buzzing––people love it or hate it. “If you don’t like something, do something about it.”

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